smellslikeawesome

This happened and I have to share it:

Sitting at the bus stop, two old Chinese ladies came up to me and one asked if I spoke Mandarin. Since I’ve been asked directions many times I said yes helpfully. She took out her phone, asked me a few cursory questions about where I’m from, then things got weird. 

She said, (the following exchange is all in Chinese so I’ve translated it obviously) “if I dial this phone, would you be able to say what I want you to into it?” I thought she needed something said in English so I agreed.

Then she said “if a man picks up, say ‘I’ve come home (in Chinese). If a woman picks up also say that, and then say ‘isn’t this Johnny’s phone?’ and if she asks who you are just say it doesnt matter.”

So, semi certain I’m helping an old lady bust her cheating husband, I made the call. It was a very young woman who answered. Wading through the lines I was given, I watched the old lady’s face tighten, then when the call ended (with me giving the phone back because the young woman kept on asking who I was and the old lady hung up for me) she started laughing, and left.

So yeah, busted someone today in Chinese.